JUST THE FACTS MA'AM

I’ve given up worrying about whether the media has a liberal bias or a conservative bias, I’m more worried that the media is collectively smoking crack. It seems that every headline I read warns of some imminent danger that will probably kill me and my loved ones; most likely by the end of the day. 

I strongly believe that in every newspaper, radio, television, and website newsroom in America the following conversation (or something very close to it) takes place on a daily basis:

Editor: Hey Bob, read me the opening paragraph of the human interest story you’re working on.

Copywriter: Sure: “A first grader at Robert E. Lee Elementary School accidentally scuffed his chin today when he jumped off the Merry-Go-Round. His teacher, Miss Shelnick, quickly came to the rescue. She scooped the child in her arms, kissed his boo-boo, and made it all better.” 

Editor: That’s not bad Bob, but could you punch it up a bit?

Copywriter: Sure boss. How about: “A first grader at Robert E. Lee Elementary school was nearly decapitated today by grossly neglected, and extremely dangerous playground equipment. Will your child live through recess? Read our investigative report to find out.”

Editor: Not bad, but if you could imply that the teacher could possibly be a registered sex offender and that’s why she kissed him, I think we’ll have a winner.

We’ve grown mostly desensitized to this type of sensationalism. That’s probably due to the ubiquitous “all hell’s about to break loose” weather forecast:

Tropical depression ‘Tootsie’ with rain fall of 1 1/2 inches and winds of up to 8 miles per hour has formed in the Atlantic Ocean approximately 1000 miles from the nearest land mass. Unnamed experts predict that this will grow into a category 35 hurricane that could easily decimate the entire Atlantic Seaboard and eradicate all life as we know as far west as Kansas. We here at the Channel Five Weather Center promise to bring you 24/7 coverage of this breaking weather story even if we have to run archived hurricane footage dating all the way back to 1965 just to fill air time.

I understand that in a media soaked culture if a headline doesn’t pop it probably doesn’t get read which means the publisher can’t sell advertising. But as it is often said; “perception is reality” which would mean that if you can change perception you can change reality. If that is truly the case, the media should remember the immortal words of licensed comic book character Spiderman as played by Tobey Maguire: “with great power comes great responsibility” (and, apparently, Kirsten Dunst in a wet t-shirt.) Therefore, I think it’s time for some “Sensationalism Accountability.”  

I think the need for this can be illustrated by the media’s coverage of the economic crises over the last several years. During the recession I became obsessed with following the stock market. This isn’t because my portfolio is so large that I need to consult with Warren Buffett on a daily basis, but simply because I would really like to retire prior to my 95th birthday.  The Dow is now over 15,000 but even with that type of positive news, every time the DOW dips by a couple of points the headlines all read that the recovery is a hoax and that the market is about to suffer “an apocalyptic collapse of biblical proportions.”

I don’t know much about the stock market but I can tell you this, if the DOW is up 100 points today it will most likely be down at least 80 points tomorrow. This is because people are cashing out their gains and does not mean that we all need to be poised on the window ledges of our office buildings.

Yes, the recession was horrible. That is due primarily to greedy people doing incredibly greedy things, but I also have to wonder how much was actually driven by the media. I think some enterprising statistician from the Pew Research Center should conduct a study to see if there is a direct correlation between the publication of a sensationalized “doom and gloom” economic headline and layoffs. I’d bet you 50 shares of Microsoft that there is. 

I’m not saying that we need to regulate the media. I’m a firm believer in the 1st amendment but I would simply like to call on the media to demonstrate a little self restraint. If you’re like me you would like your news the way Walter Cronkite delivered it; without hyperbole and without sensationalism. When Walter said “and that’s the way it is” we all felt fairly certain that really was the way it was. 

I think Joe Friday said it best:

Just the facts ma’am.