NO HABLO CHRISTIANESE

Every profession, academic discipline, and J.R.R. Tolkien fan club has their own vocabulary or “jargon.” For example, when my son talks about neuroscience I wrinkle my forehead and nod knowingly, despite the fact that I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, although I believe it has something to do with your head.

The problem with jargon is that it often comes off as pedantic or exclusionary. I think this is especially true of “Christianese.” I’ve been thinking about this lately because a neighbor invited my wife and I to a Bible study in which the teacher was trying their best to impress everyone by sounding like one of my old seminary professors. That’s ok; I knew what they were talking about because I happen to be fluent in Christianese. In fact, that’s pretty much the only language I spoke during my years in the ministry.

However, having stepped slightly outside of that paradigm several years ago my ears have begun to hear Christianese the way someone who is not familiar with that language might hear it.

In other words, it’s started to sound pretty silly.

Let me give you some examples. One of my favorites is; “I just received a word from God.” For those of you who routinely use that phrase it sounds normal, but try to imagine how that phrase sounds to someone who did not grow up in an evangelical church.

It sounds like the person saying it is completely nuts.

In fact, when someone says that to me today I typically respond with something like; “and what was that word? Porcupine? Pachyderm? Perambulator? Did you receive any words from the Increase Your Word Power page in last month’s Reader’s Digest or only from God?

I say things like that to people because I am (as one recent acquaintance so eloquently put it) a “jerk.”

Christianese becomes really fun when someone strings several patented Christianese phrases together such as; “I feel led to intercede for you because of the chasm that exists between you and the savior due to your iniquities. I pray that you will heed God’s call to repent and seek his face as you accept his invitation to become a born again and spirit filled believer.”

Huh???

Come on now…those of you with a background like mine. You’ve said something very close to that, haven’t you? You know you have…you can admit it.

So, to all of my fellow evangelicals out there, allow me to speak some Christianese directly to you: If you really want to be salt and light, stop talking like a televangelist with a bad suit and big hair and just speak English.

No Hablo Christianese.